What is the most meaningful piece of feedback you’ve ever received?
When feedback is done well, it can elevate engagement, build trust and excitement for the future, and inspire people to accomplish great things. When done poorly or not at all, it can negatively affect team and individual performance, damage trust and morale, and hinder development.
Have you ever avoided giving constructive feedback?
Whether we don’t want to upset someone, or don’t feel confident in our ability to communicate it well, or perhaps we simply haven’t made it a priority, it happens a lot.
Fear not!
The great news is that the solution to feeling more comfortable giving constructive feedback is to give more positive feedback! If that sounds counterproductive, keep reading. This article will provide some tips and best practices on how to confidently give and receive feedback that balances encouragement, accountability, and development.
The importance of feedback
It’s no secret that feedback helps drive employee engagement. Gallup’s engagement survey results showed that 80% of employees that received meaningful feedback in the last week were also fully engaged (Harter, 2024). In fact, according to the SHRM, continuous feedback programs have been trending in the workplace as a replacement for failing performance management systems (O’Connell, 2020).
Research on these continuous feedback methods suggests that while both quantitative and qualitative feedback contribute to performance improvements, qualitative feedback (from a person) was more effective in enhancing motivation and engagement (Giamos, et al., 2023). Basically, your team needs more than automated KPIs and data analytics. They need some human motivation!
Tailor it to your audience
The quickest way to meet your team’s expectations is to ask them what their expectations are. Asking the simple question of “how do you like to receive feedback?” is a great icebreaker and foundation for engaging in these types of conversations.
Consider these other variables that can impact how your feedback is perceived:
- Context and place. Is the feedback more appropriate for the team or 1:1? If it’s negative and doesn’t apply to most of the room, it probably shouldn’t be delivered to the room. Giving negative feedback in front of others can cause stress, embarrassment, and damage trust, which are all counterproductive for performance and engagement. If it’s positive feedback, consider that some people love being recognized in front of their peers, yet it makes others feel uncomfortable. Ask them.
- Delivery method. In person? Phone? Zoom? Email? Text? The perceived meaning of our communication can change drastically based on tone, body language, and how we phrase things. And yes, emails have a tone. Thus, the words you say can be different than what your body language and/or tone is saying.
- Frequency. Don’t confuse feedback with micromanagement. Feedback isn’t helpful if it isn’t meaningful. If you’re giving “feedback” several times a day you may be unknowingly creating a sense of being watched over the shoulder.
Tip: While acknowledging one person in front a group, remember that your audience is bigger than the one person receiving the feedback.
Highlight the good stuff
It’s easier to give constructive feedback when you consistently give positive feedback. In fact, most of the feedback you give should be positive and focused on strength areas. Positive reinforcement is real. When you point out what someone is doing well, it motivates them to keep doing it.
A common mistake is to assume that people know exactly what they do well and how their actions impact the big picture. When someone exhibits behaviors or actions that move the team or objective forward, tell them! Celebrate small wins, ask people to share best practices, and thank people for their contributions. Be specific. Here are a few examples:
- A simple thank you goes a long way. “Thank you so much for your hard work in organizing this event! Your leadership and project management skills were integral in making this event a success for everyone. Looking forward to hearing your best practices and feedback for future events”.
- Appreciation of strengths. “Great job with the presentation today. You have a natural talent for storytelling! Your use of metaphors kept me engaged and able to visualize the subject matter. I’m looking forward to your future presentations!”. Notice how this example not only shows appreciation for a talent, but also provides a specific example of how this talent provided value.
- Ask them to share best practices. When people are really good at doing something, it can be so natural that they sometimes don’t consciously plan it out. Asking them to share best practices is a great way to recognize them while also providing an opportunity for them to reflect on the experience to articulate which skills or behaviors attributed to their success (and consider what they might do differently in the future).
Tip: Employees expect to be shown appreciation for the contributions they know they are making. Boost morale and engagement by also pointing out achievements or contributions that aren’t as obvious.
Make it timely
Do not wait for performance reviews and formal evaluations. These should supplement ongoing feedback. The better you get at giving feedback, the less surprised people will be to see their performance review results. Imagine thinking you’ve been doing great for 6-12 months, but you receive a mediocre review that doesn’t align with any of your day-to-day conversations you’ve been having with your boss for the past year.
When evaluations don’t match the employee’s perception of their own performance, it can cause the employee to question whether their manager recognizes, appreciates, and understands their abilities and contributions.
Timeliness is also important to ensure both parties remember the events accurately. Talking about it while it’s still fresh allows people to reflect on the situation to gain a better understanding. Of course, it’s not always appropriate to share in real time, for example, in front of peers or customers. If it’s not an emergency, take note to discuss it when appropriate.
Tip: Incorporate regular 1:1 interactions with team members to ask questions like “what is going well?”, “what is not going well?”, and “what can I do to support you in your role?”. These types of questions can help bring out challenges and pain points organically, creating a more comfortable conversation that helps both parties understand how to create positive change moving forward.
Focus on behavior, not personality
One of the reasons we get uncomfortable with constructive feedback is because all too often it is delivered and/or perceived as an attack on our character. Of course, it’s uncomfortable to tell someone that they need to be more of a “team player”, for example. This is a vague topic that can be perceived as a personality flaw and can easily be taken offensively.
Focus on specific behaviors and actions. For example:
- Personality focused: “You’re domineering during meetings. It’s frustrating for the rest of the team when you’re frequently interrupting.”
- Behavior focused: “During our meeting yesterday, you interrupted your colleagues multiple times while they were speaking. This behavior can be disruptive to the flow of the discussion and make others feel unheard.”
Tip: Approach feedback conversations as a learning and development opportunity, rather than a disciplinary conversation.
Make it future-oriented
What’s done is done. No one wants or needs their boss to point out every mistake in the name of giving feedback. Focus on the future and inspire them to confidently move forward. Let’s go back to our behavior-focused example:
- Behavior focused: “During our team meeting yesterday, you interrupted your colleagues multiple times while they were speaking. This type of behavior can be disruptive to the flow of the discussion and make others feel unheard…”
- Future-oriented: “…While I very much appreciate your enthusiasm and participation, I want to ensure that meetings are welcoming for everyone. Do you have any other ideas or feedback about how we can improve our productivity and communication in future meetings?”
People are more likely to be successful in changing their behavior if they feel optimistic about the next steps, rather than worried and/or defeated. Feedback should feel like a stepping stone, not a road block.
Tip: Practice treating feedback as a dialogue, not a monologue.
Normalize it
Wouldn’t it be great if your team had a habit of asking you and their peers for feedback? This is possible! It’s not an overnight process, and requires some strategic change, but normalizing the process of giving and receiving feedback can help make these conversations less uncomfortable for everyone.
To encourage this within your team or workplace culture, a few things need to be true:
- People must feel psychologically safe to share opinions, ideas, feedback, etc. This includes the ability to admit mistakes. To be clear, some mistakes do require disciplinary action. Those aren’t the types of mistakes I’m talking about. I’m talking about fostering an environment where people can comfortably share or ask for feedback without fear of judgement or negative consequences. A team philosophy in which continuous improvement is a normal part of the learning & development process.
- People need opportunities to do it. People need to be empowered and equipped to take action. Two-way communication processes like scheduled check-ins, brainstorming sessions, 360 reviews, surveys, and development opportunities can help foster open communication. Consistent informal conversations from the leader encourages participation and complements the learning process.
- People need to see it modeled by their leader. It begins with you. Modeling the behaviors you wish to see is crucial. People tend to mimic the actions of their leaders more than the words they say. Ask your team for feedback, share what you’ve learned, and celebrate growth.
Tip: While asking others for feedback or ideas, consider that not everyone will be able to answer on the spot. Providing multiple ways to respond, and some time to think about their answers will help encourage people to participate and provide more meaningful feedback.
Where to start
I hope you’ve gained some valuable insights about how to feel more confident giving and receiving feedback. I challenge you to pick one action that you’ll start doing now. It begins with you!
Normalizing feedback within the workplace often requires behavior and belief changes. Respect the process and remember that everyone is different. Additionally, keep in mind that forced feedback sessions without feeling safe can lead to stressful environments and inaccurate feedback. Before you involve your team, consider taking the time to assess and build a communication and change strategy. I can help you! Submit a Service Inquiry.
The better you get at making employees feel appreciated for their contributions, normalizing feedback, and supporting two-way communication, the easier it will be to give constructive feedback (and the less you’ll have to do it!).
Good luck!
References
Giamos, D., Doucet, O., & Léger, P. M. (2023). Continuous Performance Feedback: Investigating the Effects of Feedback Content and Feedback Sources on Performance, Motivation to Improve Performance and Task Engagement. Journal of Organizational Behavior Management, 1–20. https://doi.org/10.1080/01608061.2023.2238029
Harter, J. (2023). Gallup. A Great Manager’s Most Important Habit (gallup.com)
O’Connell, B. (2020). SHRM. Transforming Performance Management into Continuous Feedback (shrm.org)